Female Officers Section

• Cultural Conditioning
• Impact
• Reporting Abuse
• Policy/Liability
• Safety Planning

Also of interest:

• Crossing Threshold
• Female Officers as Victims

Reporting Your Abuse

Breaking Silence

You will probably have to explain your situation to others. The last thing you want is to have to educate others about officer-involved domestic abuse. You want to be supported, not be the trainer. You may have to educate them about the unique complexities and dynamics of domestic violence when both of you are police officers. This may include your friends and family, co-workers, supervisors, internal affairs investigators, advocates, attorneys, psychological evaluators, prosecutors and judges. If there are divorce and custody issues involved, you may also need to educate child psychologists and custody evaluators, the children’s attorney, and child protective services.

Abuser’s Preemptive Strategies

If the abuser senses that you are going to tell someone about the abuse, he is likely to take preemptive action. Fellow officers may be sympathetic to him. Many judges believe that if a male officer claims to be a victim of abuse it must be true; they feel it would be too humiliating and embarrassing for a man to claim to be a victim unless he had no other choice.

You know that your abuser has the power to threaten or destroy your career. He could do this by making false reports against you. He could allege that you threatened him with your weapon during an argument. He could maneuver you into drawing your weapon in self-defense.

Your abuser has access to your co-workers and may convince them that he is the "real" victim. He will most likely try to manipulate them to support him and turn against you. His buddies may harass and intimidate you.

If you have been in a secret same-sex relationship, your abuser has probably threatened to out you to the department. Coming out on your own to your supervisors and co-workers will take away one of her most powerful weapons but may have other repercussions. If you are married or have children, disclosing your sexual orientation may affect a divorce or custody action.

Friends and Colleagues

Your co-workers will react in many different ways to learning that you are a victim of abuse. Of course, it makes a huge difference if your abuser is a civilian or a police officer. If your abuser is a civilian, fellow officers are apt to support you and do everything they can to protect you. But if your abuser is a firefighter or an officer, it's a different story.

They may underestimate the lethality of your situation because you and your partner have been trained to maintain control in all situations. Officers are expected to be able to defuse potentially violent situations without resorting to the use of force. So when your "problems at home" get so "out of control" that they warrant police or medical intervention, responding officers and others may consider you to be mutual combatants.

Some of your co-workers will resent your bringing your "personal problems" to the job. Many of them will not take sides because they work with both of you. Some will believe the abuser's story over yours. Others will be angry with you for betraying "one of your own" by reporting the abuse.

If you are a lesbian, members of the women's community may be angry with you for reporting your abuser because they believe you betrayed both your partner and them by exposing the myth that all lesbian relationships are egalitarian and respectful. If you never revealed that you are a police officer, they may feel that you mistrusted or misled them.

Consequences

There are many personal and professional reasons for not wanting the department to know what's going on in your personal life. You know that reporting your abuse to the department will have serious repercussions, personally and professionally — for both of you.

Some departments have policies requiring that personnel must report knowledge of officer domestic abuse incidents. If you don't report the abuse, you risk that your abuser or someone else could report it. Depending on the department's policy, you could be disciplined for not reporting your own victimization.

Unlike civilian victims, you will be forced to cooperate with any internal investigation. During the investigation, you may face:

• Scrutiny of your personal life
• Fitness-for-duty evaluation
• Discipline for not reporting
• Mandated counseling
• Ostracism
• Reassignment; possible career jeopardy
• Retaliation

Remember that though others may assist you, ultimately you are the only one who can make decisions regarding your own safety. If you want to discuss your options before taking specific steps, contact Diane Wetendorf.